Apple offers Phone 5S owners big penises

The marketing team at Apple appears to have taken a page from spam which promises men large endowments if they buy their products.

The latest advert for the Apple iPhone Phone 5S has a soundtrack from a popular beat combo called the Pixies crooning a number called Gigantic.

Obviously, the people at Apple thought "gigantic" is exactly the sort of message it wanted to get across --- after all it does have a bigger screen, sort of.

However they should have looked at what the lyrics were really about before paying for the licence to use it on their adverts.

The song is all about a woman's observation of an attractive black man making love to another woman, culminating in the chorus: 'Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic... A big, big love.'"

In otherwords, it is about how a bloke with a large wang is a good thing. When you know this the advert takes on a completely new meaning. It is about associating your phone with getting a big dick, rather than just a big dick actually owning one, which is closer to the reality.

But what Apple has failed to realise is that when it comes to comparing size, its latest effort is not really that big in comparison to its rivals. So while it is bragging about the size of its screen it does so knowing that there are people out there which much bigger offerings which can make customers' eyes water.

Then we would have thought that a large number of its customers are women who would not really want to be waving a penis extension about. All up, this is probably another own goal from Apple.